I really like this wedding, its something different.
It's fun and memorable. :)

My Only

Sad Dream

happened 2 years ago...sa Bacolod City

<-this is the hotel room, pavillion hotel, bacolod

My Dream goes:

I was in a hotel room, lights keep turning in and out,so i went out of the room, i was looking for my bf. He was gone and when I went out of the room, i saw a candle. One staying next door just died,so i went out of the hotel.

i was kinda hungry,i wanna eat some veggies. I was with my bf this time, so he ask me to go and eat at nearest restaurant. We were there, no veggies so we got grilled fish. he got his food first, and I wasn't used to it because my bf usually serves me my food before he gets his own food. So what I did, i grab my grilled fish and headed the table next to my boyfriend.I was surprised that people from our town knows him. I ask him "you know each other?",,he said"yes of course, were from same place". I was shocked because my bf is from makati and he's not from our place. I stared on his face, I was shocked. he was not the boyfriend I know I was with. I can't utter a word so I left the table.

I checked my phone, my bf's number wasn't there. So i went to my dads, i ask if he has the number,,he said he has it. I tried calling it, its unreachable, i ran to my mom,, i ask for her phone,i got his number. I called him and i heard his voice only for less than a minute. I was asking where he was, then the voice faded. And I can't reach him again. I was sobbing and crying in front of everyone. I thought i was still with em, i didn't know I was going out with another person. All I know is my bf is him. My family said, "They were wondering why I wasn't
lonely when he left". Because in my mind I was still with him, but the truth is am with another guy, and its not him.

When I woke up,,I was crying. I saw him sleeping next to me. I hugged him crying.....he said he will never ever leave me and kissed my forehead.

This is when I realized, I really love him.

Indeed I love you

"The first time I went crazy over you,
I had put you aside and preserved you,
and wandered around, to know and prove,
how much really effect you had on me...And
I experimented and forced myself to think,
you are nothing... But then, I see your
face, and voice, in every man I meet. It
went on and on...It grew on me, except...it
was not you there with me."

Giving Up

I'm completely over it, as if I was serious,,bwahahaha. Anyways, my life is more of a joke, nothings really serious. I love the way I am, and I love what I have.

You see the pictures of these cute babies? Thats my first loves(Bryan's) twins, ouch! And when I saw it, It made me smile and ache for a while. They're so cute, I gave up my love so these kids can be with their father. It'll be cruel not to let him go, and too selfish to take their father away from them. I am proud I was completely over it, I saw his pictures with his kids, he looks happy. I and him are still in good terms, were friends - plainly friends. The last time I talked to him, he's a bit funny, he keeps saying I wasn't happy and he keeps blaming himself. Told him I am happy and doesnt need to blame himself forever, things happen for a reason. That was past, there's nothing we can do about it and I already forgave him , we just need to move on.

A little about us, knew him from head to foot. Were very close, and I cant forget the days I was with em. We both studied in Cebu, same hometown, all far from our parents. I get to see him 3 times every week because were from different school. There's lots to remember,, memories that makes me smile every now and then. I still remember when he was sick, I took care of em, always sleep on his arms and feel comfortably secured,,good ol days...sweet memories,,our song " I wanna be with you" by Mandy Moore,,lol... when am sleeping he's just staring at me and wakes me up with his gentle kisses all over my face, the paintings he made while waiting for me from school,, always wears his shirt, hehehehe. Those are the few unforgettable treasured moments. There's a lot actually , I couldn't count.


Some experiences are rather very painful, specially when I heard he impregnated another girl. It's painful as hell, sometimes I wish I'd die, or to get to sleep and never awaken forever. I was lost then, I just keep drowning myself in liquors, killing myself little by little. But I got through it, and I've learned a lot from it too. Learn to be strong, learn to welcome and let go of people in your life. Some things are meant to be remembered and treasured good or bad, the happiness, sweet memories, hurt and pain :)